Ever feel like you’re just one wrong move away from completely falling off track with your eating? You’ve been doing well, and then—boom—the pressure starts building. Next thing you know, you are in a full “F it” mode, convincing yourself you’ve messed up for good. Sound familiar?

In this episode, we’re diving into the pressure language we use with ourselves. It’s not about the food—it’s about how much pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect. Whether it’s counting days since you last binged or obsessing over eating “perfectly,” that pressure just keeps stacking up until you feel like you have to explode. 

The Pressure Cooker Effect

Picture this: you’re going along, trying to be “good,” keeping up with your workout routine, eating “right,” not binging, whatever it is. Then suddenly—BOOM!—one slip-up, and you’re in full-on “screw it” mode, inhaling an entire cheesecake while contemplating life choices.

It’s not about willpower. It’s not because Oreos have a gravitational pull stronger than a black hole. It’s because of the way we talk to ourselves. Our words build pressure, and sooner or later, that pressure has to go somewhere. (Usually straight into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.)

The Words That Are Out to Get You

Let’s break down some of the biggest offenders when it comes to pressure language:

1. “I have to…”

Example: I have to go to the gym today.
Translation: If I don’t go, I’m a lazy, unworthy failure who will never be fit.
Alternative: I get to go to the gym today. I want to move my body and feel good.

2. “I should…”

Example: I should eat a salad instead of this burger.
Translation: If I don’t, I’m obviously a garbage person with zero self-control.
Alternative: I can eat what makes me feel good and satisfies me.

3. “I need to…”

Example: I need to stop eating carbs.
Translation: If I don’t, I’ve failed at life and might as well give up now.
Alternative: I can choose to eat in a way that supports my body and my happiness.

4. “I never…”

Example: I never have control around cookies.
Translation: I have doomed myself to a life of cookie-induced chaos.
Alternative: Sometimes I eat more cookies than I want, but I’m learning balance.

5. “I always…”

Example: I always screw up my diet.
Translation: I am stuck in a loop of eternal failure and despair.
Alternative: I’m figuring out what works for me, and that takes time.

How to Escape the Pressure Trap

Alright, now that we’ve called out these sneaky little stress bombs, how do we get rid of them?

Step 1: Awareness

Start listening to yourself. Make a mental (or actual) list of how often you use pressure language. If you find yourself saying “I have to” or “I should” more often than you say your own name, it’s time for a change.

Step 2: Find Proof You’re Wrong

Every time you say I never work out or I always mess up, challenge yourself. Have you really never worked out? (Even once?) Did you actually mess up every single time? Find proof that your blanket statement isn’t true and replace it with something more balanced.

Step 3: Self-Compassion (Yes, Really)

Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean slacking off. It means recognizing that shaming yourself into submission isn’t a great long-term strategy. If it were, we’d all be perfect by now. Compassion isn’t weakness—it’s the secret sauce to sustainable progress.

Final Thoughts

Pressure language isn’t just about food or fitness—it shows up in relationships, work, parenting, and pretty much every part of life. Start paying attention, swap out the pressure words, and give yourself a freaking break.

You can also connect with me on Instagram at @KellyLWellness.

Are you ready to stop overeating and finally be in control around food? Watch my FREE training How to Stop Binge Eating (Without Cutting Out Your Favorite Foods) to learn how it’s possible!