Welcome to the 12 Days of Mindful Eating Series! Each week I am dropping three episodes in the month of December to help you eat mindfully and feel your best. This season is all about gratitude, love, kindness and giving – yet, we do that with the people around us, and not so much ourselves.

But when we change the way we think, we change the way we eat (because it’s not about the food)!

In this episode, I’m talking about the ‘Upper Limit,’ which is the limit we set ourselves of how much we allow ourselves to feel good.

Have you ever felt like everything is going great, so you purposely drop the other shoe instead of waiting for the shoe to drop? Congrats – you just ‘upper limited’ yourself.

(This phrase and info is taken from the book ‘The Big Leap’ by Gay Hendricks’ – you can check out the book here)!

Why We Sabotage Ourselves: The Upper Limit Problem

Welcome to Day 11 of the “12 Days of Mindful Eating” series! In today’s episode, we’re diving into something that hits home for so many of us: the upper limit problem. Yes, that sneaky little phenomenon where life feels great—until we sabotage ourselves. Sound familiar? Grab a cozy seat, and let’s get real (and laugh a little) about why we do this and how to stop.

What’s an Upper Limit Anyway?

Picture this: your life is cruising along. You’re eating well, crushing it at work, getting along with your mom (a miracle!), and your pants fit just right. But instead of basking in this harmonious glow, a little voice whispers: Something’s gotta give. And boom, you self-sabotage.

As explained in Gay Hendricks’ book The Big Leap, the “upper limit” is the threshold of happiness we subconsciously allow ourselves to feel. Once we hit it, we panic, create drama, or binge on snacks to restore “normalcy.” Because apparently, being too happy is suspicious.

Jaws, Michael Myers, and Your Inner Thermostat

Imagine you’re the star of a suspense movie. Everything’s fine until you hear the dreaded music cue. Is it Jaws? Michael Myers? Nope—it’s your inner thermostat, maxed out on happiness and ready to shut you down.

Hendricks compares this to a thermostat that only allows us to feel good up to a certain point. When the temperature rises beyond our comfort zone, we instinctively crank up the self-sabotage. Arguments? Check. Physical pain? Oh, hello, random headache. Binge eating? You bet.

Throwing the Shoe Across the Room

Kelly hilariously recalls her habit of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Why wait? She’d just throw it across the room herself! Whether it was binge eating or snapping at her husband about dish towels, the sabotage was swift, creative, and entirely self-inflicted.

Why We Do It (Hint: It’s Not Because of the Couch Cushions)

Let’s get one thing straight: the kids pulling couch cushions off the sofa isn’t why you lost it. It’s because everything else in your life was going so well that your brain decided it needed a little chaos.

Kelly shares how she caught herself in the act of upper-limiting one morning before a big event. Everything was perfect—her health, family, and thriving business. But instead of riding the high, she spiraled into a meltdown over couch forts and grocery shopping.

Are You Upper Limiting Yourself?

Here are some telltale signs:

• You start arguments over things that don’t really matter.
• You binge eat or drink even when you’re feeling good.
• You suddenly “can’t” when everything is going your way.

Sound like you? Don’t worry; we’ve all been there.

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Step 1: Awareness
The next time you catch yourself about to start drama, pause and laugh. Seriously. Recognizing the pattern is half the battle.

Step 2: Remind Yourself That It’s Safe to Feel Good
Happiness doesn’t have to come with a side of chaos. Repeat after Kelly: It’s okay to feel good.

Step 3: Let Go of the Guilt
Don’t beat yourself up for slipping into old habits. Growth starts with kindness—toward yourself.

It’s Time to Raise Your Thermostat

Self-sabotage is sneaky, but with awareness and practice, you can push through your upper limit and embrace the happiness you deserve. Remember, it’s safe to feel good, and the couch cushions will survive.

Stay tuned for the final episode of the “12 Days of Mindful Eating” series. Until then, go easy on yourself—you’ve got this!

Follow me for daily tips on Instagram! @kellylwellness

Are you ready to stop overeating and finally be in control around food? Watch my FREE training How to Stop Binge Eating (Without Cutting Out Your Favorite Foods) to learn how it’s possible!