If you are someone who is your own worst critic, puts so much pressure on yourself, and ends up going into ‘F it’ mode and eating everything in sight because you ‘failed?’ Then you’re going to want to tune into this. 

We don’t realize that the words we say play a BIG role in what we eat, and sometimes, we end up adding insult to injury and making things worse – from one simple word. 

Stay right there to find out what word we use WAY too much, why it causes so many problems with our eating and discipline, and what to do instead. 

The Word That Messes With Your Head

Let’s be honest, “should” sounds harmless, right? Wrong! Every time you say it, you’re setting yourself up with some pretty unreasonable expectations. It’s like you’re creating these impossible-to-meet standards, and when you inevitably don’t live up to them—hello, guilt and shame! And guess what? Guilt and shame are the BFFs of binge eating.

You think you’re motivating yourself when you say, “I should have gone to the gym” or “I shouldn’t have eaten that cupcake.” But really, you’re just making yourself feel terrible. And when we feel terrible, do we suddenly want to go for a run or eat a salad? Nope! We comfort ourselves with food. It’s a vicious cycle, and “should” is fueling it.

Why “Should” = Epic Fail

You know the drill—you set this high bar: “I should go to the gym six days a week,” or “I should not eat carbs at the BBQ.” Maybe you stick to it for a day or two, but then… bam! You fall off the wagon. Why? Because the expectations were bonkers to begin with! When you don’t meet them, you’re left feeling like a failure. And what do we do when we feel like failures? Yep, we eat more.

It’s not just about your relationship with food, though. Ever find yourself thinking, “My husband should’ve emptied the dishwasher” or “My mom shouldn’t be so passive-aggressive”? Cue resentment! You’re setting yourself up for a mental showdown every time someone doesn’t live up to the version of them you’ve built in your head. Yikes!

Let’s Get Real—What’s Actually Happening?

Here’s the hard truth: Every time you use the word “should,” you’re rejecting reality. You’re stuck in the land of “what could have been,” and honey, that’s a one-way ticket to Suffer City. “I should’ve lost weight by now.” “I shouldn’t have binged last night.” You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can make peace with it and move forward.

Enter “Could”—Your New Best Friend

Instead of beating yourself up with “should,” how about we switch it up with “could”? Saying “I could go to the gym” feels so much more empowering, right? It gives you the freedom to make a choice without the guilt trip. “I could choose to eat a salad” feels a lot better than “I should eat a salad or I’m the worst.” Plus, “could” reminds you that you have options, and you’re in control. No more self-punishment!

Your New Challenge: Be a “Should” Detective

Ready to take some action? Here’s your homework. Go through your day and notice how many times you say “should”—whether it’s about yourself or someone else. Trust me, you’ll be surprised how often it creeps in. Once you spot it, swap it with “could” and see how it feels. Spoiler alert: You’re going to feel a whole lot lighter.

Final Thoughts—Because I Love You

If you take away one thing from this, let it be this: stop “shoulding” on yourself. The more you do it, the more trapped you feel. Let’s ditch the guilt, embrace reality, and choose words that lift us up rather than tear us down. You’ve got this!

Follow me for daily tips on Instagram! @kellylwellness

Are you ready to stop overeating and finally be in control around food? Watch my FREE training How to Stop Binge Eating (Without Cutting Out Your Favorite Foods) to learn how it’s possible!