If you’ve tried intuitive eating and ended up elbow-deep in a gallon of ice cream, this one’s for you. Kelly dives into why structure matters, how to use it without triggering restriction, and what it looks like to find your own rhythm with food.

Why “Just Eat When You’re Hungry” Is Kind of a Scam (But Also… Not?)

Hey there, food freedom warrior 👋

Welcome to today’s episode of Kelly rants on the internet but somehow changes lives while doing it. Okay fine, technically it’s a blog post, not a podcast. But if you squint your eyes and read this in my voice, it basically counts.

So let’s get into it: STRUCTURE.

(I know, cue the collective groan. “Ugh, rules?? I thought we were anti-diet!”)

Stay with me. We’re going somewhere good.

First Things First: A Tiny Rant About Intuitive Eating

Now before the intuitive eating fan club comes for me, let’s get one thing straight: I’m not the president of the “listen to your body and only eat quinoa when the moon is full” committee. In fact, I’m not even in that club.

I’m not here to teach you intuitive eating in its purest, unicorn-glitter form. Why? Because a lot of you have tried that… and ended up in a nacho-fueled shame spiral. You were told, “just eat when you’re hungry,” and your body said, “Cool, let’s eat ice cream all day,” and your brain said, “Kelly, you suck.”

(And honestly? Fair. I probably have gotten that DM.)

But here’s the deal: it’s not you. And it’s not the nachos. It’s the lack of structure.

Why Structure Isn’t a Dirty Word

You know what’s wild? People come out of years of restrictive dieting—where eating after 7 p.m. felt like a felony—and then try to just intuitively vibe their way through mealtime like some kind of peaceful forest elf.

Newsflash: when you go from militant food rules to zero rules, your brain short-circuits. You end up eating all day, wondering if you’re still hungry, or if that’s just boredom, emotional angst, or a TikTok you watched that showed someone making a charcuterie board shaped like Taylor Swift.

So what’s the fix?

Structure.

No, not “don’t eat bread, it’s the devil” structure. We’re talking your structure. A gentle, flexible, “I like to eat three meals and a snack and still have space in my jeans” kind of structure.

Let’s Talk About That One DM

I got a message from a sweet follower who said, “Kelly, I’m trying to listen to my body, but I feel like I’m hungry all day. What am I doing wrong?”

My answer: nothing…except possibly trying to build IKEA furniture with no instructions. You need a roadmap.

Because if you’re constantly asking yourself, “Am I hungry? Am I not? Should I eat this almond or sacrifice it to the blood sugar gods?”—that’s exhausting. And ironically, it makes food louder, not quieter.

So instead of the free-for-all snack attack, try a structure like this:

• Three meals a day
• One or two snacks
• Enough space between to actually feel hunger again

Novel concept, I know.

The Great Middle Ground (It Does Exist!)

Here’s the real hot take: the wellness world is a circus of extremes.

On one end: “No carbs, no joy, no soul. Eat air and pray.”
On the other: “Only eat when the sun kisses your shoulder at a 37° angle and you feel emotionally safe.”

Meanwhile, you’re like, “Can I just eat a sandwich without having an identity crisis?”

Yes. You can. Welcome to the magical land of the middle ground. You’re allowed to want to feel good in your body and eat pizza. You’re allowed to lose weight if that’s your goal and still call out diet culture on its BS.

You’re not broken. You’re just tired of being yanked from one extreme to the other like a human yo-yo.

What Does Structure Look Like for Me?

Glad you asked. Right now I’m pregnant (hi baby 👶), so my structure looks like:

• Breakfast, lunch, dinner
• A snack or two (or three—baby’s demanding)

When I’m not pregnant, I feel amazing doing two big meals and a snack or two. I like to eat when I’m genuinely hungry, and I like to actually feel full. Not “Pinterest girl salad” full. Like “grandma made spaghetti” full.

That’s what satisfies me. That’s what quiets the food noise. That’s my structure.

Want to Find Your Structure? Ask Yourself This:

Let’s play therapist for a sec. Ask yourself:

• Do I like eating breakfast right when I wake up?
• Do I feel better eating small meals throughout the day—or fewer, bigger ones?
• When do I have the most energy?
• When do I start mentally daydreaming about snacks like they’re ex-boyfriends?

Track it. Play with it. And most importantly—stop assuming everyone else has the answer.

You had the answers once too. Remember when you were a kid? You got hungry, you ate. You got full, you stopped. Somewhere along the way, we all let food rules drown out our inner wisdom.

Let’s bring that wisdom back—with a touch of adult-ish structure (and maybe a post-lunch cookie).

TL;DR

You’re allowed to have structure without it being diet culture in disguise.

You’re allowed to eat in a way that supports your energy, your hormones, your cravings, and your real life (not your imaginary clean-eating alter ego).

So go forth. Build your routine. Make it yours. Make it awesome.

And if someone tries to tell you how they eat is the One True Way, just smile and walk away. Preferably with a taco.

Follow me for daily tips on Instagram! @kellylwellness

Are you ready to stop overeating and finally be in control around food? Watch my FREE training How to Stop Binge Eating (Without Cutting Out Your Favorite Foods) to learn how it’s possible!