Got questions? I got answers (when it comes to binge eating, of course). Today I’m starting ‘Slide into My DM’s’ where I answer your most pressing questions! We are talking about what to do when the tools don’t work – and we just keep on eating (even though we don’t want to be). 

I’m also talking about what to do when you are only getting pleasure from food (and you’re using it to cope, comfort or numb). There’s a big difference between being a foodie and being food obsessed, so let’s talk about it!

Hey friends, it’s me, Kelly! Welcome to this special episode-slash-blog mashup where we’re doing something a little different. I’m calling it “Slide Into My DMs,” because why not pretend I’m a cool kid who uses trendy phrases? (Humor me, okay?)

So, why this concept? Well, I’m fortunate to have an amazing community that reaches out with thoughtful questions about food freedom and life. I wish I could respond to every DM personally, but here’s the next best thing: dedicating a blog and podcast episode to the most common (and juicy) ones. It’s like group therapy but way less awkward. Let’s dive in!

DM #1: Thanksgiving Leftovers and the Guilt Spiral

Question: “I used the tools – reminding myself I can have this food anytime – but then I still binged on Thanksgiving pie because I only get it once a year. What do I do?”

First of all, THANK YOU for this question because it’s so relatable. Let’s break it down.

When I tell people to remind themselves, “I can have this food anytime,” it’s not just a mantra; it’s a mindset shift. The scarcity mentality (aka “I’ll never eat this again!”) tricks our brains into going full-on Black Friday shopper mode. We panic, overindulge, and wake up feeling like we’ve eaten an entire pie factory.

But here’s the nuance: Some foods really do fall into the “rare gem” category. Your grandma’s buttered rice or a once-a-year Thanksgiving pie is different from the Oreos chilling in your pantry. So, what’s the plan when you’re faced with a special treat?

1. Allow yourself to enjoy it, guilt-free. Take a slice (or two). Sit at the table, savor it, and share the moment with loved ones. No sneaky bites while standing at the counter, okay? Treat it like an event, not a covert operation.
2. Recognize the rarity. If it’s truly a “once-a-year” food, remind yourself that occasional indulgence won’t derail your progress. The key is to avoid turning that rare indulgence into a multi-day binge fest. Let the leftovers be leftovers, not a 72-hour pie marathon.
3. Move on without guilt. Binging often stems from dwelling on the past (“I can’t believe I ate so much!”) or fearing the future (“I’ll gain 10 pounds!”). Stay in the present. One meal doesn’t define you.

DM #2: Finding Joy Beyond Food

Question: “Lately, I’ve been finding all my pleasure in food. How do I stop doing that?”

First off, let’s normalize this. Food is a source of joy. Weddings, holidays, first dates – it’s a centerpiece for connection and celebration. But when it becomes the only source of pleasure? That’s where things get tricky.

Here’s the difference between being a foodie and being food-obsessed:

• Foodie: Loves the experience, appreciates flavors, and can enjoy a meal without overthinking.
• Food-obsessed: Constantly thinking about food, planning meals, sneaking bites, and using food as the main coping mechanism for stress or boredom.

If you’re in the latter camp, ask yourself two questions:

1. What am I trying to cope with?” Are you avoiding stress, numbing feelings, or procrastinating? Reflect without judgment. (Pro tip: Journaling before bed or during a quiet moment works wonders.)
2. Where else can I find joy?” Food shouldn’t be the sole source of happiness. Explore other forms of self-care or simple pleasures. For me, it’s hot showers (almost to the point of burning my skin – not medical advice, FYI) and watching trashy reality TV with my fireplace on. Pure magic. Your version could be a walk, a favorite playlist, or five minutes of silence while staring at the ceiling (a personal fave when my kids are chaos incarnate).